Saturday, July 16, 2005
Journal of a Living Lady #252
Nancy White Kelly
Readers: This is a special edition of my column, an extra one. Last week I left you hanging about our ill grandson. Unbeknown at the time, Charlie wrote about the emotional experience in his own journal. I feel compelled to share it. If you wish to respond to him, his email address is firstname.lastname@example.org.
Wow. What a time it has been. For those that don’t know, here is a quick summary.
Micah, at five-months old, looks to be a very normal baby, albeit his head is a little on the large size. His head was in the 25 percentile when he was born and around the 75 percentile later. At his last check-up, Micah’s head was in the 95 percentile. Anything below 100% is “normal.” There are babies with heads well over the 100% percentile.
Micah was also born with a small murmur (that the doctor no longer hears and was/is supposed to heal on its own). Micah also had a small cyst that can be somewhat common with premature babies. It is not extremely abnormal for a baby to have a head in the 95% percentile. Doctors do become concerned when the baby’s head, not large at birth, becomes bigger. This does not HAVE to mean there is trouble, but it can.
There is a condition known as hydrocephalus. It basically means fluid on the brain. One of several causes is a cyst on the brain. Needless to say, since we found this out, we have been very, very concerned. The doctor ordered a CT scan for today.
The last couple days have been rough ones... days that included petitioning God on Micah’s behalf. It was a very reconnecting time for God and me. It is a shame that it takes a crisis, isn’t it? I definitely asked for God to heal Micah. To let him be OK.
I really felt that God laid the story of Esther on my heart. I spent some time with God and that story. I know you probably know the Old Testament story, so I won’t repeat it. I really related to Esther. I felt like I was petitioning God in the same way.
God gave me a peace about the situation. It is tough to ask God to heal your son, but then to say with all the sincerity you can muster, “Not my will, but yours be done.”
I tried to imagine what things would be like if we got a bad report. It involves a life-long battle: a plastic tube is inserted for the rest of your life, having to be lengthened as you grow; dealing with clogging and infection; and possibly being delayed mentally and physically.
I tried to think of ways that God would still use Micah. And how, down the road, we could look back and see that God used Micah for good in spite of his problems. That is a difficult reality to imagine. Yet, I felt a peace about it just the same. But still, if it was OK for Esther to plea, then it was OK for me.
So today, having been wearied by the previous days, we went down to Gainesville to have Micah’s CT scan. Poor little fella didn’t even know where he was going. We got to the hospital about 6:30 this morning. There was a little confusion about whether he was supposed to have a CT scan or an MRI. The staff confirmed that it was a CT scan.
Tori and I fed Micah and then placed him on a pillow on the long, narrow tray of the scanner. Like the good baby he is, Micah fell right asleep (with his pacifier and clutching his favorite blue doggy blanket). He never woke up during the whole scan.
We couldn’t get the results right away. The radiologist would have to dictate what he saw and send the report to our pediatrician. It could be today or it could be tomorrow before we got the results. That was the equivalent of eternity.
Tori and I went on with our day. We ate breakfast, went to a church staff meeting and then went home. A while later, Tori decided to call the doctor’s office to see if the results were in. They were.
The doctor said the CT scan showed nothing. There was no fluid. The report did not even mention a cyst.
After Tori hung up, we said a very genuine prayer of thanks to God. I tell you it was all Him. I got a little choked up and headed to the backyard to be by myself. For the first time in who knows how long, I cried. My face streaked with tears of joy. I think it was from the overwhelming feeling – not as much of Micah being OK – but of the awesome feeling of experiencing God’s hand of mercy and deliverance.
And still…if some medical complication ever develops, or whenever the next bad thing happens, I feel confident in the sovereignty of my Lord. God on the hilltop is God in the valley. And today, he has delivered Micah…..whose name indeed means, …. “Who is like the Lord?”
PS 107:19 Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble,
and he saved them from their distress.
PS 107:20 He sent forth his word and healed them;
he rescued them from the grave.
PS 107:21 Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love
and his wonderful deeds for men
email@example.com – Mother of Charlie, grandmother of Micah